Straw Men and Steel Men

A straw man is a flimsy copy of someone’s position, built because it is easy to knock down. A steel man is the opposite.

Here is a straw man in the wild. One neighbor says, I think we should plant more trees on our street. The other replies, So you want to rip up all the parking? Nobody said that. Now the conversation is about parking.

How to spot one

• The reply begins with so what you are saying is.
• The new version uses words like all, never or everyone, and the original did not.
• The other person says, that is not what I meant, and it probably is not.

Building a steel man

Before you disagree, state the other view so well that its owner would say, yes, exactly, that is what I think. Then deal with that version.

It is harder and slower, and it pays off three ways. You may learn something. If you win, you have beaten the real idea. And people listen better after feeling properly understood.

A small test

Pick a view you disagree with and try to write down the three best reasons someone might hold it. If you cannot, you are probably not ready to argue with it yet.